Cleaning. I am cleaning my house from top to bottom today in preparation for tomorrow. I have my work cut out for me.

I've been reading a book called "These Is My Words" (love it so far by the way) and it's set in the time of the 1880's. Those women did SO much during the day, it made me feel guilty, slothful, and lazy. I am determined not to be slothful or lazy, so I am going to be doing something productive everyday.

(This is me admiring my wonderfully clean dishes, and that's Jason, outside, completely enamoured with my beauty while he waxes the car)

I didn't forget about your question, don't worry. I know you are wondering, "What's tomorrow? And why are you cleaning your house for it?" Well, tomorrow is my two-year anniversary! I function and feel best with my house clean, so tomorrow I want to make it the best day possible by having the house clean.

Today is week 3 of no sugar. I've gotten to the point where I don't even want it anymore. Our Montana trip will be the biggest test.



If I had extra money floating around, I would spend it on books. I tend to think of the money we spend on bills and things as the amount of books we could've bought with that money. For instance, we paid a reconnection bill for the sewer the other day of $50, and I thought to myself, "O man! That's like 5 books!"

I've spent the last two days looking on Goodreads and Amazon at books that I've never read, but would love to get. I buy books I haven't read, and some people see that as a problem, but I don't like the library. I don't like used book shops. I don't like the smell these places give off, and who knows where those library/used books have been! But a new book, well, that's something entirely different. Unchartered territory. That smell is better than the smell of money. The spine is unbent, the pages intact without dog ears, the words left unmarred by numerous highlighters and pencils. Ah...heaven. Now, don't go thinking I'm an irresponsible book-buyer, just buying whatever looks good. O no. I read several summaries and reviews. I used to rely heavily on the opinions of people I know, but once that led me astray, so now I do more research on top of that.

When I grow up, and get rich, I am going to have my own personal library. I will spend entire days in there having long, leisurely read-athons.
We used to have read-athons in 5th grade. We would bring whatever books we wanted to read, our sleeping bags, and whatever treats we wanted to eat, and we would lay out all our pillows and sleeping bags and just read all day. That was heavenly to me.


Happy Birthday Dad!

Yesterday was my Dad's 45th birthday (and also a very bad day for me which is an attempt to explain why I didn't write about this yesterday).

My dad is one of the funniest people I know. Almost every time I talk to him he tells me a new joke or something funny that is always sure to make me laugh. He is always up for playing little jokes on people, especially scaring the pants off people! I am scared of Bigfoot to this day because of a story he made up and told us kids when I was little. He always got a kick out of scaring my friend Lindsay. Once he snuck up behind her while we were watching a scary movie, and he grabbed her and yelled really loud and she jumped so far out of the couch that she landed on her butt on the living room floor. I will never forget that image.

My brothers and I all inherited my Dad's crooked bottom tooth. I love it. I love my Dad's smile. When he smiles big, he looks like a kid on Christmas morning. My dad and I both share a love for Disneyland. We've gone to Disneyworld and Disneyland on family vacations before and other theme parks. We always said when we grew up that he would be a firefighter in Disneyland and I would be Belle. I am still looking forward to that.

My dad is one of the hardest workers I know. His work ethic is outstanding and I may not have inherited all of that, but I know he taught me it and I will always be grateful to him for that. He works hard, but he also plays hard. My dad's idea of a fun day consists of either hiking, hunting, fishing, chopping wood, etc. Anything outdoorsy really. He is a mountain goat...he can scale any mountain with little difficulty and in half the time that most other people he is with can do it (I say most other because my husband and my brother are the only other two I know that can keep up with him). Last summer, Dad and my hubs dragged my Mom and I up an almost vertical (Dad, I know you think I'm exaggerating, but that was steep) mountainside to get to a freezing lake that we had to vacate soon because of a bear. But despite the fact that he is twice as fast, he still had patience and a smile the whole way.

Speaking of hunting, Dad loves hunting. That is one constant thing I remember from growing up that he has ALWAYS loved and ALWAYS done. He watches the hunting channel, he gets ups at 3 or 4 in the morning to hike all day and then shoot a deer and haul it back to the truck (doesn't sound fun to me, but like I said, he plays hard), he dreams of hunting, and eats hunting, or he eats the hunted rather. Dad has great aim and taught me to shoot (and he did pretty well because I am quite the "dead-eye" these days).

I have never had to doubt whether my Dad loved my Mom, ever. I always knew he did when he would bring home flowers after work for her, or leave her a card or a note on the counter before work in the morning. My Dad calls my Mom "Brown Eyes." My Dad can describe exactly what my Mom was wearing the first day he met her...when he was 14. They are my second favorite couple in this world (1st being me and J).

You know how you have those people in your life that you turn to in times of hopelessness, stress, and confusion because you know that they will bring you comfort and give you strength? My dad is that person for me. He is definitely one of the rocks in my life. I admire that so much and hope that I can emulate that as I mature and gain more wisdom. Mom always says that Dad has more integrity in one of his little pinky's than most people do in their whole bodies and I believe it.

There is so much more I could say about my Dad, but I won't, because then it would probably turn into a novel, but Dad, I love you so much and want you to know what an awesome example you are and have always been to me. I hope your birthday was the best and I can't wait to see you next week!


2 Weeks...

Today marks the two week day of no sugar! It's a good day. I feel like I've accomplished something huge.

I made cookies for someone the other day. I made cocoa cookies, and for those of you who don't know what they are, well, I feel sorry for you. Sorry enough to endure making several batches of the most delicious cookies (that I can't eat) just so you can try some. Anyways, while I was making these cookies, wishing I could even lick the batter off the spoon, I got a headache! My body was totally telling me, "NO!!! Don't do it!" And it felt SO GOOD to listen to my body for once, and it felt great to say no. I never thought I had the power to say that word, but I guess I do.

I read a great book the other day. It's called The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and it's about the German Occupation on the island of Guernsey which is an island in the English Channel. I am not going to do a whole synopsis, just read it, because you won't regret it. The part I am going to focus on is the fact that mostly the entire book is written in letters to and from the characters in the book.

This inspired me to want to begin writing letters.

Letters seem so personal. It's says to me, "I took the time to sit down and write to you and I thought carefully about what I was going to write and I wrote it in my best penmanship for you." I love it. Eleanor Roosevelt would set aside a certain amount of time every morning for letter writing. It seems so classy, so elegant. I made the decision that I am going to start writing letters. I am going to save up for some stationary and pretty little envelopes, but I am going to start writing without all of that anyways. If you would like to be one of those people I write to, please e-mail me your address and I will begin. Even if you live in the neighborhood, it doesn't matter, I will write. I love getting things other than bills in the mail. It brightens up my day, so maybe I can help brighten someone else's day by writing them.


The Longing...

I have a deep longing, a hopeless yearning to be surrounded by the drifting leaves and the bright colors that signify Autumn. I sound like I am missing a loved one, and I am. Montana is a loved one. I have an eternal connection with her, and can't help but think that the Celestial Kingdom will have a lot of similarities with her (far more beautiful of course, but more like Montana "Celestial-ized" rather than a whole new place). Montana is the closest to Heaven you can get I believe. I feel a oneness with myself enveloped by the beauty of nature that surrounds me there. Everywhere I look, God's mercy and graciousness is manifested. The majestic mountains that provide protection, standing as sentinels. Wondrous giants of stone. The trees that lean back and forth with the wind, teaching me to work with what life gives me, to always be flexible and movable with whatever situations arise. The serenity of the lakes, posing as glass and then suddenly, a ripple, indicating to me that life is affected by even the tiniest action.

I grew up there. I suffered there. I gained there, and I lost greatly there. I became a woman there. I met the love of my forever there who thankfully has this same connection.

I long for the day when I can return for good to my dear friend. I shall say, "Montana I am here, and I feel complete." And she shall say, "Hello old friend, I've missed you greatly." I love everyone in Arizona, and it will hurt me to be parted with my dear friends here, but Montana is calling, and she is very persuasive.


Disgusting, Flavorless Sponge...

That's what would perfectly describe those Sugar Free Oatmeal Cookies I made. It was gross. Sorry Krystal, I doubt you would want me to share with you today!

So instead of eating disgusting, flavorless sponges, I just had cantaloupe. It tasted wonderful.


Days 9 & 10...

Still doing good and to mark my 10th day of separation from sugar and I am going to celebrate by making cookies! :) (Sugar free of course!)

Sugar Free Oatmeal Cookies

1 C Wheat Flour
1 C Oatmeal
1 tsp. Baking Powder
1/2 tsp. Baking Soda
1/4 tsp. Nutmeg
1 tsp. Cinnamon
1 tsp. Vanilla
1/3 C Oil
2 Eggs, beaten
1 C Apple Sauce
1 C Nuts
Let soak, add last:
1/2 C Raisins
1/4 C Water

If these don't end up tasting gross or weird, then I will probably be sharing them with my other friend who has also joined me in my no-sugar quest.


Day 8...

Today was just kind of a down day. You know when you just feel down, and you know why, but not really? That was today for me, but I went and saw Kaleigh girl and that helped cheer me up. I love that little girl.

Something great about today though...I was down, but I didn't turn to sugar. That made me smile when I realized that.

Got my blood drawn today. Those little needles hurt way worse than the big ones I think. I hardly feel the big ones, like the ones that they stick in you to donate blood (sorry if anyone that reads this is a bit squeamish...I'm not really so it doesn't affect me), but those little ones I can definitely feel. Anyways, I also looked up the price of other tests that my OB wants me to do before we start our "plan," and it's a lot more expensive than I thought. Ouch. Not sure where we go from here, but we will figure it out.


Days 6 & 7...

Doing good! I am getting to the point where sugar doesn't sound super tempting! Yesterday I had some juice (100% natural...no added sugar, etc., etc.) and I couldn't have had more than 3/4 C and I felt sick! It was just too sweet...never thought that would make me excited.

Went to the Dr. today to check up on some of the "baby" stuff. I go in tomorrow to get my blood drawn and once we get the results of that and some other tests, we will get a plan of action to hopefully move things along.

Anyways...life is good. I'm happy. The end.


Day 5...

Excellent day! No mood swings, no super horrible headaches (I still have little ones, but not all day and very minor), super-hero amounts of energy, etc.

Today, we canned (pictures to come later) a ton of food, and amongst that food was part of our supply of sugar. I found it quite ironic that I am trying to avoid sugar, yet, here we were today, canning it.

The hard part today was grocery shopping.

J wanted to go up and down every aisle it seemed, so the challenging aisles? The cookie aisle, the baking aisle, and frozen food aisle. But I survived! It's harder resisting the little things like certain salad dressings or sauces that have High Fructose Corn Syrup and other sugars, but mainly HFCS. I tend to try and justify those a bit because it's not an actually "sugary" thing and it's not large amounts, but then I remember why I have headaches and say no.

By the way, I hate Safeway...I don't ever want to shop there again. Ever.

Very grateful today for a husband who is supportive of me in whatever I want to do. I love him so much.



So I guess Google was in partnership with someone else to make this website in memory of 9/11...

Make History

Makes it a little better...but they're still not off the hook for lack of logo remembrance.

Day 4...

It's getting easier and easier. And that makes me really happy. :)


Google always makes their logo into a picture on holidays and random birthdays...but not today. And that makes me really mad. It's a silly little logo, and it shouldn't bug me so much, but it does. How can you not take today and remember the hundreds of lives lost and sacrificed on September 11th, 2001?

“Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children."
- President George W. Bush, November 11, 2001

Sad to see some people have already forgotten. I fervently hope and pray that we may always remember those whose lives were prematurely taken due to hatred toward others, and that we also may remember those who sacrificed their own lives to try and save the lives of those caught in the attack.

“Now, we have inscribed a new memory alongside those others. It’s a memory of tragedy and shock, of loss and mourning. But not only of loss and mourning. It’s also a memory of bravery and self-sacrifice, and the love that lays down its life for a friend–even a friend whose name it never knew. “
- President George W. Bush, December 11, 2001

God Bless America.


Day 3...

Today was a good day.

1. I resisted the most amount of sugar out of my 3 days off sugar.
2. I saw my friend's new baby girl.
3. I saw my other friend's new baby boy (both absolutely adorable).
4. I got to hang out with some friends this morning while we celebrated a birthday.
5. I got to hang out with some great Relief Society Sisters at an activity tonight.

My greatest sugar victory today? I made banana chocolate chip muffins (absolutely adore these) and I didn't eat one or even lick any of the batter, and gave them all away.

Hard part? Waking up with an echo of last night's headache and a bout of dizziness. Refusing what looked like the most amazingly delicious coffee cake ever. Experiencing a minor headache all day long. And last of all, going to Costco and not being able to take some samples and not being able to get what I thought would be a safe sugar-free snack: my dried blueberries. (When I say I am abstaining from sugar, that is not including sugar found in fruit and natural sugar in other things...I couldn't live like that.)

But, I look back on all of this, with my dull headache as a constant reminder, and think, "I did it. Again."

And I can do it tomorrow.


Day 2...

I am so grateful I am not trying to kick a heroine addiction or something like that. I don't even want to think about what those withdrawal symptoms would be like. Ouch.

During the day today went well. I didn't have any sugar again today. I've been in a pretty healthy mood all day...no crazy emotional mood swings like yesterday (poor J...yesterday must've been pretty bad for him).

Headaches tonight though. I rarely get headaches and I definitely have one tonight. But, it just kind of keeps reminding me why I am doing this. If I am getting headaches from not having sugar, that gives me even more motivation to stop eating it.

My friend had her baby today! And her sister-in-law (my best friend from forever ago) was dilated to a 7 at 6:30 so she should be having her baby like now, if she hasn't already had her. I am so excited for them and am glad that everything went/is going well. That also was a good motivation for me to continue resisting the temptation of sugar today. Thinking about babies and wanting one of my own so bad it hurts. I know, I know...I'm only 20, I have time, but sometimes, that just doesn't cut it, and it doesn't make it any easier when everyone around you can get pregnant and you can't yet...but, I just keep trying to tell myself, even if it hurts, it's still part of the plan, and Heavenly Father will send you the most beautiful baby ever when it is part of His plan for you. All I can do is try to prepare patiently. (Patience is not my strong point...maybe part of the lesson I need to learn???) Cutting out sugar is part of the plan to prepare and make my body healthier to bear strong, healthy children.

I was looking at mine and J's baby pictures the other day. We are so cute. Wow! My husband was probably the cutest little boy ever! I will have to scan some pictures in and post them.

**Just got the text! Jenna had her baby at 9 on the dot! I bet she is so beautiful...she definitely has a gorgeous mother.


Day 1...

So today went good.


I didn't have sugar...but I definitely wanted some and I was pretty emotional today which made it harder, but I did it.

I didn't go to the gym, but did go to the temple, and I think that is a pretty good trade.

Anyways, first day down. I am doing it again tomorrow.


The Challenge...

So I have been overindulging majorly this last week on my favorite ever junk food...cookies. I make them with every intention of giving them away, then I don't. I eat them. I am pretty sure I am related to the Cookie Monster somehow...
After about 5 more pounds added because of said cookies and other bits of sugary junk food, I've realized I am the most unhealthy I have ever been in my life. And I don't like it, at all.

So in comes the challenge. I am swearing off sugar. Ouch. Did I just type that? The fact that I want to delete this post entirely right now probably means that I need to keep it up. I feel I am just way too addicted to sugar.

I am also going to do my best to do some form of exercise 5 days a week, whether it's running, or pilates, or weight lifting, etc.

So friends, I am going to be blogging my journey in hopes that you all hold me accountable. I am going to write every day about my progress and I am just going to take it a day at a time.

Now before you think I am doing this just to be "skinny," and before I forget why I want to nix my favorite thing ever, I am going to post some of the reasons why I want to do this and be healthy:

1. Healthy me = healthier babies (no, not pregnant yet, but when I do get pregnant...)
2. More energy
3. More athletic
4. Stress reliever
5. Less health problems
6. Higher self-esteem
7. Healthier skin
8. Increased wardrobe (I have a large amount of clothes that I can't fit into anymore, it would
save me the money of having to go out and buy new clothes)
9. Less money spent on junk food
10. Sleep better
11. Get more creative in my cooking
12. Obeying the Word of Wisdom

I will be reporting later tonight on Day 1, which is today.

Wish me luck!