But I don't like to call it that. That sounds too negative.
But today is the day the docs have told me my baby is "due." I haven't ever really put much stock in this day because I know it's not an exact science of deciding when the baby is due...it's an estimate.
I am feeling stuffed to the brim. Especially today. The baby turned today on his side and it felt like his little behind was going to pop out of my stomach! I don't think there is any room left...so I really don't know how long he can stay in there. But I know skin stretches...that's quite evident with the numerous stretch marks I've received, so I shouldn't be surprised at how long he decides to stay in there.
I am also feeling achy. I waddle like no other...especially when I first get out of the bed. Wowza. Those first few steps I take, I feel like the whole bottom half of my body is going to separate from my upper half and drop to the floor. Mom and I walked around JoAnn's and Costco today. My hips hurt, my pelvis hurts, and my feet and fingers...swollen.
But these few things aren't really that bad. There are ways around these things to make myself more comfortable.
The thing that is starting to wear on me is, well...my looks. How vain, right? I feel ginormous though. I walk by the mirror and I stop, look at my face, and wonder, "When the heck did my face get so big?!" After that, I sit and think and plan my workouts I will do when I can work out again. I think about all the junk food in my house I am getting rid of. I plan out my diet and how much I could potentially lose by Christmas. I think about J and how much he loves me even though I don't look my best and haven't looked my best for a long time. And anyway I am basically consumed with thoughts of my appearance and my body. I knew going into this that I was giving up my body to make another human being, which...hello! Is awesome. Amazing. A miracle really. But I will be very happy to get my body back and work on getting it into the shape I want it to be in again. Until then, I will just try and deal with my less than decent appearance as I wear the biggest clothes I have that still don't cover my stomach all the time.
Mom leaves tomorrow. I am trying not to think about it. Tomorrow is going to be a really, really hard day. That's all I can say right now about that.
I got some Halloween decorations today and it made me really excited for Halloween and for my little baby to experience his first Halloween. It's my second favorite holiday (after Christmas, of course) and I can't wait to share it with him. I love fall.
But I love the fact that I am going to have a baby soon even more.
1 comment:
Hang in there Jessica. I look back on pictures of me when I was pregnant and my face was huge! Don't worry, though. While your pregnant, so much of how "big" you feel is actually just extra water. You have so much extra water and blood in your system that it makes you "puff up" like that--so don't think your going to stay "ginormous" as you say. It'll all start FALLING OFF of you after you have the baby. Promise. You'll lose a good 20 lbs in the first couple days with that baby after your system and then you'll pass by the mirror again and think, "Dang! I am looking good!" Nothing feels better than being NOT pregnant, and don't you worry--he can't stay in there forever! :)
Anyway, wanna come swim at my house? Pregnant swimming is the BEST!
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