Late Night Drives...

We just got back this morning at 2:30 from the motel and we left it in much better condition that we found it. I am very confident in the new manager and am SO relieved to have someone in there again that we trust completely. The Lord truly blesses us with what we need. It may not be exactly what we think we need or when we think we need, but it all works out. I am so grateful for that knowledge.

It was cloudy there for most of the time. I forgot how much I LOVE cloudy days. I miss them. I am not a "sunny" person. I appreciate an occasional sunny day, but for the most part, I love my days dark and cloudy. It's so relaxing, so calming. Plus, it rains, which makes things green. O how I miss green things. It's very brown here. I guess this trip just made me homesick. I am a Montana girl...I love the fact that it changes weather every 5 minutes, but that most of the time, you can count on it being cloudy. I love that I know once the snow melts away, there will be the most amazing green you've ever seen. I am grateful for the time J and I have had away to have to rely on each other and pull strength from each other while we are away from family, but I am anxiously awaiting the time when we will be able to go back.

This was the first time I wasn't able to go to my brother's grave on Memorial Day. That's hard. I don't think there is a day that goes by that I don't think of him, even though it's almost been only 6 years. I wonder what it would've been like had he lived, if we hadn't gone through what we went through. Life would be so much different... I would be so much different. I am grateful for it. It's taken me a long time to be able to say this, but I am grateful. It's weird moving on with the rest of my life and not having him be apart of it. He was probably at my wedding, even though I couldn't see him, but he wasn't there there, ya know? He doesn't know J. I think they would've gotten along great...they would've pulled some crazy stunts. Ty was always such a joker...and J has a little mischevious side too. It's hard thinking my kids won't know him. Ty was always amazing with kids. Both my brothers are. I find comfort in the fact that the Lord needed him more on the other side than he needed him here, and that I will see him again. I am grateful he was in my life at all. I learned amazing lessons from him. Some are too great and too sacred to express.This is the product of late night drives...thinking...wondering...what ifs.