Day 1...

So today went good.

Kinda.

I didn't have sugar...but I definitely wanted some and I was pretty emotional today which made it harder, but I did it.

I didn't go to the gym, but did go to the temple, and I think that is a pretty good trade.

Anyways, first day down. I am doing it again tomorrow.

:)

The Challenge...

So I have been overindulging majorly this last week on my favorite ever junk food...cookies. I make them with every intention of giving them away, then I don't. I eat them. I am pretty sure I am related to the Cookie Monster somehow...
After about 5 more pounds added because of said cookies and other bits of sugary junk food, I've realized I am the most unhealthy I have ever been in my life. And I don't like it, at all.

So in comes the challenge. I am swearing off sugar. Ouch. Did I just type that? The fact that I want to delete this post entirely right now probably means that I need to keep it up. I feel I am just way too addicted to sugar.


I am also going to do my best to do some form of exercise 5 days a week, whether it's running, or pilates, or weight lifting, etc.

So friends, I am going to be blogging my journey in hopes that you all hold me accountable. I am going to write every day about my progress and I am just going to take it a day at a time.

Now before you think I am doing this just to be "skinny," and before I forget why I want to nix my favorite thing ever, I am going to post some of the reasons why I want to do this and be healthy:

1. Healthy me = healthier babies (no, not pregnant yet, but when I do get pregnant...)
2. More energy
3. More athletic
4. Stress reliever
5. Less health problems
6. Higher self-esteem
7. Healthier skin
8. Increased wardrobe (I have a large amount of clothes that I can't fit into anymore, it would
save me the money of having to go out and buy new clothes)
9. Less money spent on junk food
10. Sleep better
11. Get more creative in my cooking
12. Obeying the Word of Wisdom

I will be reporting later tonight on Day 1, which is today.

Wish me luck!

I'm a Romantic...

I am afraid that sums me up in a nutshell. J has been gone all evening at an orienteering training. Boys and girls are so different. Most boys find much greater pleasure in discussing, for example, orienteering, or business, etc. And generally, girls like to talk about romantic things, like love, beauty, etc, which I find much more entertaining. Believe me, I've had my fair share of both topics. Which brings me to my evening tonight...

Because J has been gone, I've had time to watch all my girly movies that he puts up with but doesn't prefer to watch when he has a say in it.

I'm a "true love conquers all" type of girl. I love my happy endings, and anything that is too rational and realistic is just plain rubbish in my opinion. What's the point of watching a movie if it doesn't end up happy? I see enough sad endings in real life without paying money for it! Why anyone would want to pay to feel horribly at the end of a movie due to the outcome of the said movie is beyond me.

My favorites...

Pride and Prejudice, of course. Not the one with Keira Knightley in it. She just doesn't capture Elizabeth for me. And of course, you cannot properly capture the essence of Pride and Prejudice unless you watch the 5 hour version.


Another favorite...

Emma. I just love how, despite Emma's faults of being entirely too nosy, Mr. Knightley falls in love with her because he sees her potential. Isn't that what loves about? Looking past each other's faults and bringing out the best in each other? I can relate with Emma, which makes me all the more grateful for my own personal Mr. Knightley.


The most recent addition to my favorites...

Jane Eyre.

Oh how giddy I get when I see Mr. Rochester tell Jane that he is all hers. And how my heart breaks when I see she leaves...and oh how I wanted to cry when I heard Mr. Rochester cry out for Jane across distances that are insurmountable by his voice, but does she hear them? Yes, she does. This movie was a tad bit darker than I am used to, but the ending makes it all the worthwhile. And the tension they create...o man.


But, I did not watch any of these movies tonight...unfortunately. I watched Penelope, which is a very cute movie with a great message of learning to accept the real you, but it definitely was lacking in certain areas that qualify movies for my list of greatness.

The next movie watched was one I had seen before. Becoming Jane. This, if you have seen it, (I guess this is where I put "spoiler alert") ends poorly. The movie itself, I realize, is not the absolute true story of Jane Austen, but I look at it as just a love story and despite its horrible ending, I love it. I love the passion they generate. Especially here...in this scene:


And then...they kiss. And it's one of the best movie kisses ever...until she pushes him off. Anyways...I have overcome my detest of this movie because of the ending by simply turning it off at a happy part in the film and deluding myself to believing that is actually how it ends. Which is what I did tonight.

Simply put, I love love. And I always will. Its engrained into me. I am definitely a romantic.

New Favorite Song...

This is a great song, but the music video makes it even better!

Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie

And following in a very close 2nd place...

Percussion Gun by White Rabbits

Enjoy!

Late Night Drives...

We just got back this morning at 2:30 from the motel and we left it in much better condition that we found it. I am very confident in the new manager and am SO relieved to have someone in there again that we trust completely. The Lord truly blesses us with what we need. It may not be exactly what we think we need or when we think we need, but it all works out. I am so grateful for that knowledge.

It was cloudy there for most of the time. I forgot how much I LOVE cloudy days. I miss them. I am not a "sunny" person. I appreciate an occasional sunny day, but for the most part, I love my days dark and cloudy. It's so relaxing, so calming. Plus, it rains, which makes things green. O how I miss green things. It's very brown here. I guess this trip just made me homesick. I am a Montana girl...I love the fact that it changes weather every 5 minutes, but that most of the time, you can count on it being cloudy. I love that I know once the snow melts away, there will be the most amazing green you've ever seen. I am grateful for the time J and I have had away to have to rely on each other and pull strength from each other while we are away from family, but I am anxiously awaiting the time when we will be able to go back.

This was the first time I wasn't able to go to my brother's grave on Memorial Day. That's hard. I don't think there is a day that goes by that I don't think of him, even though it's almost been only 6 years. I wonder what it would've been like had he lived, if we hadn't gone through what we went through. Life would be so much different... I would be so much different. I am grateful for it. It's taken me a long time to be able to say this, but I am grateful. It's weird moving on with the rest of my life and not having him be apart of it. He was probably at my wedding, even though I couldn't see him, but he wasn't there there, ya know? He doesn't know J. I think they would've gotten along great...they would've pulled some crazy stunts. Ty was always such a joker...and J has a little mischevious side too. It's hard thinking my kids won't know him. Ty was always amazing with kids. Both my brothers are. I find comfort in the fact that the Lord needed him more on the other side than he needed him here, and that I will see him again. I am grateful he was in my life at all. I learned amazing lessons from him. Some are too great and too sacred to express.This is the product of late night drives...thinking...wondering...what ifs.

Managers and Motels...

Wow...what a crazy, whirlwind of a weekend. We got a call on Sunday night at about 11:30 or 12:00 from our manager saying he was leaving that night and taking the motel's cash deposits with him. So, J called the police and reported it as a robbery. We worked it out and just let him take his pay we owed him in deposits so he could leave and wouldn't trash our motel. So we got everything in order and left for Utah Monday morning and we got here this morning at 1:00. We tried to open the door with the keys that were left for us from a guy who came and made sure everything was OK, and we couldn't open the manager's unit door and the front door was bolted from the inside and we couldn't get in, so we slept in the truck, with the dogs. I probably got about 3 to 4 hours of sleep...maybe. All the while this is going on, the manager is threatening to sue us and press charges for whatever...he doesn't have a leg to stand on...completely crazy. Other of our business associates that have had to deal with him completely agree and are singing our praises now that he is gone. So J had to break in the motel through the ventilation system from the laundry room (which had a copious amount of trash and CLEAN, or used to be clean, sheets strewn about everywhere) which we did have the key for. We finally get in and there is some trash all over the apartment, but not too bad. The sink is clogged with nachos and the tub is clogged with dirt, the hot water handle is nowhere to be found (I have no idea how they were showering), but the worst of it is when we remodeled this manager's unit in the beginning we paid a painter to paint over these weird mint green walls in the manager's unit and paint in the lobby, but now, there are pencil sketchings and yellow paint that looks like a honeycomb (none of it is finished) with penciled pillars and such...I AM SO MAD ABOUT THAT!!! That cost a large chunk of change to have it painted nicely and now, it's got crap all over it! Not to mention the fact that in another bedroom, he slammed the door knob through the wall. I don't understand people at all. He wasn't doing his job, was stealing, and basically vandalizing our hotel, and he has the nerve to say he is going to press charges and sue us! For what?! He claims we owe them money for extra stuff they did...this is what he considers extra--lawn work (last I checked, that was included in the job description), painting rooms (which also, was included in the job description), and creating a website (which he owns, we don't, and don't want to own). It's insane and I am trying really hard to wrap my head around how he is feeling or thinking or whatever, and I can't.

This has definitely been an eye opening experience. I have a hard time controlling my anger when I get angry. I start to shake and my heart feels like it will beat out of my chest and I just want to yell and cry. My husband is amazing. He gets these calls and talks to the manager while the manager is yelling at him with all these threats of whatever, and he stays cool as a cucumber, like it's all water off a duck's back. Sunday night, after all of this happened and we were getting ready for bed, we were saying our couple prayers and it was his turn to pray...and the most amazing thing happened. He was saying his prayer, and he asked Heavenly Father to bless the manager and his wife that they would find work and a place to stay. After all the stress and grief that this man has caused my husband, my husband sincerely prays for his well being. Never has "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you..." spoken so strongly to me. I am so grateful for my husband and what an amazing example he is to me. I have been trying to really work on it since then. Really try and be Christ-like. Right now, the first step is just trying to keep my mouth shut and not grab the phone from J everytime they call, and I think that's a big step for me. But I am going to try harder.

Well, it's been a nice break, but I haven't eaten all day, so I am going to go get some food. And maybe try and find a shower...I am SO dirty. :( BLECH!

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom--the best Mom ever.


She is my best friend. I can tell her anything and know that she won't judge or look down on me for it. She is the best listener, and always knows just the right things to say, and exactly when to say them.

We love to go to the movies together! That is one of her favorite things to do, and I love going with her.
She is an avid reader! She is always reading something and it's not just easy reads. She loves to challenge her mind and learn something new all the time! I remember reading books after she would read them and there would be writing all up and down the margins--thoughts, definitions, etc.


She loves to swim. She just got back from visiting me and the whole time she was here, all she wanted to do was swim and get a tan. My mom has the most gorgeous olive skin. Pretty much flawless with the perfect color. She is so beautiful.

She is a genuinely fun person! She is the one who taught me how to toilet paper (I started participating in this activity when I was 3), she taught me how to skinny dip (now I chunky dunk, but it's the same concept), and she taught me how to do Chinese Fire Drills. She has a huge zest for life and always tries her hardest to be her best. The following picture is of her and my brother engaged in a snowball fight the last time we visited them in Montana. She use to play softball so she has a wicked arm.


She is also totally in love with my Dad, which I love. I never remember a time that I questioned their total devotion to each other. They went on their first date when Mom was 13 and Dad was 14 and after a few ups and downs they got married 6 years later and never looked back. They are such a great example to me of what marriage should be.

There is so much more I could write about my Mom. She is basically one of the most amazing people I know and I am so grateful Heavenly Father sent me to her. I love you, Mom! Wish I could be there with you today, but know that you are loved from far, far away!